RecAddiction

Recruitment, life and everything inbetween

Category: Non-Work Stuff

December 22, 2011

Our Big Fat India Trip #6

Funny story. Yesterday whilst on The Green Goblin, I was over taking a car. Whist over taking the car, a second car started to over take me, now taking up the whole of the oncoming road. At the same time in the oncoming road, a bus was being over taken by, wait for it, another bus! There’s me, green as goose shit when it comes to driving anywhere, let alone India, about to become the very sticky filling in a car, me, car, bus, bus sandwich. I very quickly checked my rear view mirror to see I was basically being car humped a truck. Bugger. The car to my right kicked a sharp right into the ditch as the car to my left put his foot down and I gently moved to the left as bus 2 overtook bus 1 with what looked like whale mating. 2 beasts, side by side for a brief second before the loud long blast if of horn lets each other know their still alive. By “Funny story” I meant “Guess how I almost died and and did shit my pants today?”

In more pants related news I was bit on the bum a few day ago by ants. Stings a little. What was even worse though was being told by a local that not only do they bite you, they them wee into the bite to make it stings for a while. Obviously Millwall fans.

In geek news, I’ve purchased a dongle and it’s lightening fast, which means I can start cracking on with doing some work. Phew! I thought I was going to lay in the sun for 7 weeks drinking beer.

Poppy had her first experience of the sea today. Fully covered in a wet suit and wearing a hat (before the mothering nazis start), we took her out about 3.30 when it’s cool and calm. She loved it. We’re taking her scuba diving tomorrow. Kidding. It’s more like jet skiing with a harpoon gun.

Namaste.

The Leonard Family

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December 19, 2011

Our Big Fat India Trip #5

According to some of the long stay travellers out here they have their own version on #goaproblems, which is TII, which stands for This Is India. You can hear it being used around the bars when one of the trust fund mafia start complaining that their hut doesn’t have a TV, or start ranting about the distribution of wealth. This Is India.

I copped a load of flack for being smug about the weather out here, in comparison to the weather back home. Out of all my social exchanges on the subject, this is my favourite.

Me: It’s 31 on the beach today kids. Nice breeze across the bay. Might have to up the factor. How’s the weather in London?

Derek: smugness doesn’t suit you Mr Leonard !!

Me: Neither do cut down jeans and a vest, but you should see me right now!

Yeah, I’m funny.

For those interested, the heats topping out at about 88 during the day but the nights get a bit nippy. Glad I bought me trackies.

Pops has learnt a few new tricks. She can now sit up from a laying down position and how to stick her tung out. Personally I don’t see what all he fuss is about. I can do both of those as well. Well, I can stick my tung out. We’ve got Poppy on solids on a regular basis. Her favourite is banana and crushed up malaria pills. She’s the happiest I’ve ever seem her.

The Nest is truly the only place to stay in Palolem. Unbelievable service, a nice mix of families and travellers, and a banoffee pie to die for. The owners are great fun and again, a hot shower is a huge bonus.

Turtle beach is a 30 minute drive and is just amazing. It’s a turtle sanctuary with just a restaurant shack. They only cook what they catch. I asked if they had any turtle. An amazing joke lost in translation.

For the geeks, if you have Vodafone you can pay £5 for 25mg a day data roaming, which is basically the Internet and emails. You can’t download or stream but hey, get a life, you’re in the most amazing place on earth. The Wire can wait. Also, been told about a PAYG dongle you can by for £20 and get 6G and it’s rechargeable. Should help get my ass in gear to do some work.

A few folks have sent me messages about costs. Here’s the average:

Beer = 59p
Lite meal = £2
Big meal = £3
Scooter = £3 a day
Hut = £4-£100 a night depending on what you want.

No sign yet of the New Deli Belly, but it will come, and when it does, inevitably, it will be followed by the Calcutta Splutter. First rule of being in India: never trust a fart. Think about it.

Nemaste.

The Leonard Family

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December 16, 2011

Our Big Fat India Trip #4

It still makes makes me laugh when the Brits complain about the quality of Brittish food abroad. You dumb fuck. Of course they don’t know how to cook a steak, the cow is sacred out here. It would be like asking an English chefs to cook Cheryl Cole. In Goa, they do Goa food very well. If you’re longing for sausage and eggs so much, fuck off back to blighty you ignorant prick.

Hi.

Sorry about that. Just had to get it out my system.

We’ve given up on dining out for dinner at a normal hour like 8 or 9, as Pops isn’t a big fan of it and has cleared a eatery on more than or occasion with renditions of “Aaaaaaaaaaaaa” , “Waaaaaaaaa” and her new release “Naaaaaaaaaaaa”. Available exclusively on iTunes. The other thing is you have to keep babies in the hut, mozzy coils lit and doors shut between 6-7.30 as that’s when u get a lot of mozzys. That basically means having dinner at 4pm, lunch at 9am and breakfast the night before. Keeping up the same routine you have indoors is important as well, we think, because we haven’t. Starting tonight however, back to the routine.

A point for all the geeks out there. If you have an iPad and are planning on taking it to India, you need to have a real charger, not the USB wires that plug into a plug head, as they won’t work. They do for the iPhones and iPod’s. And finding an Apple Store in Goa has proven very tricky, having twice been sent to a fruit market.

That’s it for today. We’re off to eat 4 bags of apples we felt obliged to buy.

Namaste.

The Leonard Family

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December 16, 2011

Our Big Fat India Trip #3

I’ve basically given up on the internet out here. Their broadband is like dial-up, their dial-up is like teletext and their wifi is like squirting water trough a brick wall. In a wifi bar today, it took 20 minutes to buffer the advert before the video I wanted to watch. And due to my impatience, my phone auto updated 15 apps through my 3G, hitting my self imposed £100 a month data cap in 3 days. I’m done.

We’re slowly getting Poppy used to the time difference. Try telling a 5 month old that 2am is not playtime when to them, it’s 5pm is no fun. On the baby vibe, Poppy seems to draw randoms to us to let us know just how brave they think we are. If one more person tells us we’re brave I may smack them with the baby mobile. Good news is the drugs have cleared up her eye gunk, and made her look lovely again.

We’re very much in love with The Nest and the people that stay here. This morning Pops played with the owners baby for a while and Lois has signed up to a baby morning with one of the other mums.

My bike has arrived and due to the less than subtle colour scheme I’ve named it The Green Goblin. When on it, I’m a Hells Angle on a Harley. The reality is a fat white bloke on a lime green scooter.

Driving in India is like learning the highway code all over again. Over taking on a blind corner is not only acceptable, it’s encouraged. The order of right of way depends on the size of your vehicle. It goes; children, adults, cyclists, scooters, toktoks, cars, vans, buses, trucks, cows. Cows trump everything. The sooner you learn that sounding a horn in India is to alert people of your presence, what it was originally invented for, and not a sign of aggression from some Essex twat in a Nova, the sooner you stop worrying about being linched by angry drivers for your obviously western style of driving.

Namaste.

The Leonard Family

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December 14, 2011

Our Big Fat India Trip #2

It’s nice to be home. Home as in Palolem that is. Having spent a total of 7 weeks over the last 3 years, coming back, especially after Benadormastan for the last 2 days, feels like coming home.

We’re in The Nest this year for the first time as it’s a family friendly place and the owner have a child not much older than Poppy. It backs on to the best child doctor in Goa, according to the sign outside his hut, which is nice to know. Infact, there are a few families here at the moment, but it still has that hippy Goa party vibe.

We’ve already visited our 2 favourite places to eat, The German Bakery and Brown Bread. Not your classic Indian food, but out right incredible places for breakfast and lunch.

It seems the folks of Palolem have finally cottoned on to the overwhelming need for wine from the ladies and have now started to import Madera rose, for about £4 a bottle. Can you hear that? It’s the sound of 10,000 Essex girls booking their flights to India.

Babywise things are still good. Poppy picked up a case of conjunctivitis on the flight which apparently is common. We’ve now got the drops so hoping it clears up soon.

There’s a lot less people here than last year, a direct effect of the global economy. Even the smelly back packers are having to tighten their henna belts after daddy lost millions on the stock market. The hardcore are still here and pretty pleased about the lack of tourists, as it seems to be reverting back to the old way. Prices seem to have gone down surprisingly for beer and food. There’s also one or two empty beach front shells, which I’ve never seen before.

Picking up some necessities in the market today, I was surprised. Negotiating in India has always been a sport. If you has sales people who think a rate card is a is something you use at speed dating, send them to India. But for the first time I’ve ever noticed, it’s now become a spectator sport. Haggling over a hammock today, 4 other traders started watching and even cheering! I think I won, but deep down know he won. #goaproblems

There are FAR less beggars and people trying to sell on the beach. With India’s economy booming maybe they’ve all got high paid jobs? I long for the day I see English travellers selling beads to high paid Indian business folk on the beaches of Palolem.

I’m picking up “The Hog” tomorrow so expect stories of either wild adventure or 6 weeks in traction!

Namaste

The Leonard Family

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