Our Big Fat India Trip #3

by jamieleonard

I’ve basically given up on the internet out here. Their broadband is like dial-up, their dial-up is like teletext and their wifi is like squirting water trough a brick wall. In a wifi bar today, it took 20 minutes to buffer the advert before the video I wanted to watch. And due to my impatience, my phone auto updated 15 apps through my 3G, hitting my self imposed £100 a month data cap in 3 days. I’m done.

We’re slowly getting Poppy used to the time difference. Try telling a 5 month old that 2am is not playtime when to them, it’s 5pm is no fun. On the baby vibe, Poppy seems to draw randoms to us to let us know just how brave they think we are. If one more person tells us we’re brave I may smack them with the baby mobile. Good news is the drugs have cleared up her eye gunk, and made her look lovely again.

We’re very much in love with The Nest and the people that stay here. This morning Pops played with the owners baby for a while and Lois has signed up to a baby morning with one of the other mums.

My bike has arrived and due to the less than subtle colour scheme I’ve named it The Green Goblin. When on it, I’m a Hells Angle on a Harley. The reality is a fat white bloke on a lime green scooter.

Driving in India is like learning the highway code all over again. Over taking on a blind corner is not only acceptable, it’s encouraged. The order of right of way depends on the size of your vehicle. It goes; children, adults, cyclists, scooters, toktoks, cars, vans, buses, trucks, cows. Cows trump everything. The sooner you learn that sounding a horn in India is to alert people of your presence, what it was originally invented for, and not a sign of aggression from some Essex twat in a Nova, the sooner you stop worrying about being linched by angry drivers for your obviously western style of driving.


The Leonard Family